It has always been simple for me to forget
and move ahead. ‘Don’t take to heart’ was the motto and the more I tried doing
that, the more I got entangled in a maze of emotions. I wanted to be strong at
my own cost. I listened to my tragedy patiently and even participated in
processes which were agonizing for me. Why did I do this to myself? That was
because I was strong. I can endure anything and everything. That is what I
thought and maybe happenings also thought the same way.
I then decided to live in phases. One phase,
one agony-when completed, prepare yourself for the next. Deal with the emotional turmoil one at a time. If
anything belonged to past, let it be there. Think of the present and tackle
anything which is there now. If not , then just move ahead and don’t look back
and think over what happened, what did not happen, why anything happened. I
asked myself few questions when anything disturbed me. Have I done anything
wrong? Is there anything which concerns the present? When the answers were not
in the affirmative that was a signal for me, this is not something which I
should be bothered at all. Yes I am
strong but that requires a lot of mental conditioning and it is not easy to be so but what can you do when there is no choice left? J
