The Breakup

The stone was lying like that,
Unattended, discarded, forgotten,
The wind sometimes hurled abuse at it,
The rain drops cursed themselves when they fell on it,
The sun and the moon were its only companion
But it didn’t pay much heed to their existence,
They only added the difference it wanted.

One day it decided to change,
The stone thought it will greet anyone who looks its way,
It did not know what care was,
So if anyone looked at it,
That was quite important.

Then that day the earth decided to release its pressure,
The creations were destroyed,
The trees, the river, the flowers, the creatures all shrieked in fear.
The stone was happy.

It didn’t know why, but it was.
It broke into two,
It could see itself,
The agony of solitude was gone,
It had some company.

The sun came out again,
Life limped back to where it was,
But the life of the stone was changed forever…

Social Media Connect with the Soul

How it would feel to be connected, when I am there in another world? This random thought crossed my mind today while I was returning home after work. Why it came I have no idea but the thought was interesting, this much I know.

So what will actually happen is when the soul will leave the body it will tweet or post on Facebook that, all the pain and misery seems to have ended and it feels light. There is a vertical ascent and it seems that it is crossing layers of realization. Nothing seems to be permanent and it seems everything is in transition.

The soul will want to communicate with near and dear ones and it will do so. But the disadvantage will be that it will tempt it to get attached with the world it is leaving. It will not know what is there for it above but it will know what it is leaving down. It will see the true picture of people whom he thought its close ones.

It will wonder why it is going above? Who will receive him there? The dilemma will continue whether to just stay back keep on communicating in the transition phase or leave everything and go up, get disconnected.

It will not get time to decide, before that suddenly it will pick up speed and rush up. Memories will fade, it will forget who it was but will know where it has to go. It will attain salvation. The social media connect will get soulful? Will It?

New Year Resolution

Why you have to be the same always,
Year after year, the thought continues..

When we have something always in our life it just loses its existence for us and becomes a part of our life or maybe we blend in that to become one complete whole. We crave for the same distinction which was present when the thing was in front of our eyes or when we acknowledged its entity. Now that we got used to it, slowly the definition blurs. The lines fade, the boundaries melt and what remains is an abstract phenomenon which you feel but could not see.

I am going to discover those abstract phenomenons in my life in the year 2011. The limitations, the boundaries, the shapes all are going to disappear, the discovery will start....

Some 17 years back

It was but another day.A simple,ordinary one with no great events,nothing. But what ensued, changed everything.The way things were,the way I viewed them and the way I viewed myself.

We all have this kind of a day in our lives. We recognize it or not is up to us.Sometimes we consciously do it, sometimes we fail to notice it, but it is there always.

I also had one, not recently but some 17 years back. That is indeed ages back so to say. I changed drastically for good or bad I don't know but I changed, I know that.
What happened which transformed me? Is that important to know? It may interest some, it may not. But yes the effect was massive.

The transition phase was kind of a hell. It was preparation time, the change was happening to prepare me for some difficult situations in life which included facing death of near and dear ones. Some betrayals, some hardships, some trials and some errors.

The upheaval continued for some time, made me strong, maybe too strong. I was not again the soft spoken,shy person I used to be. I liked the change in my persona. If you need to stabilize in life you have to keep your feet firmly on ground.Those tiptoeing and prancing around don't help in the long run.

The journey began, a height was reached, not to avoid what was below or to reach the top. I was there somewhere in the middle. Now that is a dangerous position when you are neither this side nor that. You fumble and ask yourself where you belong. You don't get an answer. Every one interprets you in their own way and they are right to do so.

So was the situation with me. I tried identifying with either side. I couldn't. Moreover my situation was just like a tree which was shaken with a storm, it was not uprooted, that would have been good, at least it would have known it has reached end. No it just bent at an angle. Now it was not standing tall, so couldn't look up at the sky neither it could associate itself with the ground.

The tree kept on swaying with each storm,I kept on enduring each obstacle. I didn't fall down, I didn't rise up.What an enviable situation I was in :) neither here not there.

Then again I realized the situation which I was in, was not so bad. Maybe it was my ignorance that I didn't realize it earlier. But yes gradually I started liking it, got comfortable. Life had its own plans though and as usual it never let me plan things.

I found myself again in the same situation which I was some 17 years back. This time though I had my maturity with me to tide over the difficulties I was facing. Will I change again, now what will happen?

Do I turn again in that soft spoken person who thought twice before speaking one sentence? Was it like I had to go back to square one? Is that ever possible?
My struggle or more correctly my self realization still continues.

The change happens but again am not realizing it. And it was all again in a day when nothing big happened, some small things, some usual events.

Days remain the same don't they, we change with them. Point is how much we realize that makes a whole lot of difference.

This blog can be a fiction, but what if it is a reality?

I cry to know myself

Sometimes you need to put your mind to rest,let heart take over,let feelings run havoc,good bad whatever it may be,let them express themselves.You will ask what's the use? Well this is called cleansing of soul. Didn't we lose touch of it in our daily life? But how is that you let your inner consciousness come to the forefront?

It's not easy actually.You have buried it so deep it does not come up easily. You gradually lose touch of real you.But try this you will emerge stronger.The weaknesses which come up as tears and anger actually connect with your inner self. Any small event can be a trigger if you are ready to experiment.

I do this to connect with myself.Like I did yesterday. Nothing as such happened,only a small incident which does not deserve my attention at all but yes could have been used efficiently to connect with my inner self. I did just that and I realized so much sadness still remained in me, and the more I took it out I felt light and happy.

It helps to show weakness,if I cry and I am alone I know I have myself with me.No I don't need any support or shoulder to cry :). I can perfectly control my emotions but I wanted them to go loose, see where they go,how I feel at the spur of the moment.What thoughts cross my mind. I got to know myself much better than I did all these days.

I could have kept this exercise to myself but I wanted to take this further,yes I get weak to go more stronger.I wanted to share this since I don't feel ashamed at all I had tears,I had anger seething in me. It would let me emerge more as I want myself to be.

We have to face truth and when I say am optimist I am, after knowing all the negativity. I know the smile which comes to me now is genuine,not fake since I am not forcing. I am in full control of my emotions and yet they are not suffocated.

Do you think this kind of interaction session with yourself will help you?

I will not opt for choices

I keep on learning from people.The more I interact with different people I understand one thing how much is there to know.Each facet of an individual is a lesson in itself. Experiences within a defined sphere is one thing but when it flows out of that boundary then the challenge begins.

How I should behave in a situation where I don't know the factors, don't have an inkling of the rules? It puzzles but it teaches as well.

We can always say we will do this or that.But what if there are no choices or say you just leave out the options. Yes the situation gets more challenging but the learning experience is also there.

It comes to me why I would leave out the choices,I can also say yes or no. Why I have to behave according to the situation, why not create a new situation rather than indulging in something where choices emerge.

But my question to myself is why there will be choices always. Why I will make it so easy for myself to opt in or opt out? Why not stay where I am? Point is why I will, my option is simple-I need to increase my boundary and when you are up to that you leave out the options isn't it. Just follow the path.

It may take me two minutes to go against something but what I would enjoy is spending moments,which teach me and tell one thing take life as it comes. Anyway it never gives you much of choice either accept it or go against it.

For me choices are in front of my eyes but I would rather not choose them :).

I created I know

Something disturbs. When you give 100% and the output comes as 70% or even 60% and the rest are just fillers with no real value;that is the time to worry. You worry because apparently the output seems 100% but it's not.

Why the gap and why something superficial needed to fill in the gap? You worry more when you are involved in a process but someone else starts analyzing it. It's like someone just checks the output box in the flow chart and present the analysis.The input, the decision making, the throughput all is ignored.

This is the time when things take dangerous turn. It bends both ways, good or even crumble to worse. What to do? How to tackle this situation? You cannot repeat the same process again. You cannot change some one's analysis. You know only your process which you carved with determination and hard work.

This time you need to let things take their turn. Once you see it's changing for the worse you need to pitch in. Situation may have been turned against you, the process which you carried on will always be yours and no one can change it however hard they may try. Also they won't because the analysis is dependent on the process.

We can call a day a bad day or good day but it starts with a morning, evolves in a day, cools down in an evening and sleeps into a night. The process is the same, our analysis is different towards it. We can alienate ourselves from the analysis we cannot from the process.

And if a day is filled with wasted time and we say that the day is good that is entirely our fault. Since this good day is going to make us feel bad in coming days.Process and analysis should go on side by side not separately, it is bound to differ.

Our attitude should change

Professionalism- is it always required at work place or you need it in every sphere of life? Is it fine if you do your work with perfection but when it comes to home any social activity you can be relaxed. After all it doesn't matter even if the work is not done on time or there are errors.

Then can we say we are professional because there is a fear factor working in our minds which let us be efficient at work. What is the definition of expertise in home affairs. Who has mastered it then? The home maker be that a woman or a man won't you say that person has a professional approach?

In any social activity which we are doing what gets us there-we like it,we want to do it,we are doing it for a purpose. There we hardly think of being professional, we think the fact that we are doing it is enough, that we have taken time out to do something is an achievement in itself. Does it work like that?

What I feel is professionalism is required in all spheres of life be that our home affairs, managing a wedding,hosting an event or even celebrating something.Professionalism means doing things right and at the right time come what may. What is your opinion about this?

We adjust to be happy

We always hear this, we need to adjust.Adjustment so to say is part of our existence. We cannot ignore it in fact it can be dangerous for us if we try to do so. But when the question comes how much we should adjust then all the trouble starts.

We are never clear about that. We go all our way to adjust for a situation and then what happens we are not in that situation, we are at the back seat. It usually happens that people take us or we take the people for granted. Not a perfect situation.

Can we say that when we are happy in adjusting that is actually the ideal adjustment. How beneficial it will be for other person or situation. Well even if the adjustment is 10% less than what it had been if we had not put our feelings in it, the result will always be good. Success rate more than when you are unhappy and giving in to situation since you have to do it.Here you have to do it but you are not doing it actually. The mechanical aspect doesn't help.

What I feel yes we should adjust but only that much which we do with full heart, rest just leave it. Either way the thing is not going to work if it's not working with your full engagement. If life asks for full engagement,situations as well, they are not separate from life are they.

Paa

The movie Paa inspires me to write this post. It's not the first time that some movie has touched my heart but Paa is different. Why? Since it conveys in an effortless manner something which is so difficult. The protagonist in fact has taken life as it comes without any qualms.

I was wondering how the lives of those kids must be who are affected with Progeria, how their family cope up with the situation. How the parents must feel seeing their child older than themselves. Such a rare phenomenon , as if time somehow switches to future.

Moreover I was thinking it took a movie to make us all aware of this kind of disease. Yes maybe some of us must have knowledge of this but not everyone. Does this mean we need a narration to understand things, a visual, a story then only we can ponder over the facts?

My mind is full of questions like how the child who suffers from Progeria views life. What exactly goes in his mind, he knows he is there for such a short time about 13 years but he has to squeeze in 70-80 years in that.Isn't this kind of race against time?

When simple things get difficult does that mean difficult things get simple? Does life's mystery lie in that?

Tweelings

Twitter is a new entry in my life, did I say anything new or stated something which is much outdated, kind of dull statement I am making? But as far as I am concerned when I am saying that this social networking site has created an impression in my life it means it is just like a friend to me like a family kind of. It lets me vent out my emotions, share what I feel listens silently, enlightens me and ensures I am always going. Can this be expected from anyone else other than someone close to you. It does not put bindings no conditions, lets me be myself just me , no fake persona , no facade no rules I have to follow. My network of friends are always there with some interesting things or other to ensure life is not boring. What can I ask more rather than soar up the sky and tweet to my heart content. Just some feelings sorry tweelings I wanted to share :)

Family

Life moves fast and we are spending more time with our colleagues(at least those of us who are working) at work than our family. Gradually it seems we are distanced from our near and dear ones, it's not that they are not there, they are but not in the way you would have wanted. The question comes how you want them to be? Nothing much, only the usual dinner together, discussing topics, gossips they all are missing since you don't have time and your family also doesn't have time to indulge in that. You seem lost, seek solace in your work and you get that also but then you ponder over the fact that how life has changed. Can you change it, at least for me I don't think I can. It has to be like this and it will be. Now what is positive in this, it is that you gradually evolve as a person,become more self dependent after all you know you have to struggle on your own. Do I mind or would you mind this situation? Would you like yourself as you would have been earlier emotionally dependent on some member of your family or as you are now dependent on yourself like anything. You know if you falter you won't get chance to lead a second life. I think life is moving fast but at the same time it's teaching us lot of things,fact is how much we are willing to learn depend entirely on us.

Life is different

Life is interesting ,when you are thinking of something to happen,it can happen that thing may not happen at all,then what will happen you may have never thought of.You feel bad and then after some time has passed out you realize what happened was for good only. Well is this my optimism which is speaking out,may be and this is my driving force.What I feel is if staying positive lets you be happy and also lets you perform your duties what is the harm in it.What benefit do i get if I keep on sulking.

I believe in doing something by heart and using my mind in it,so both my heart and mind work in sync.I can't do something only by mind.Then again I get the criticism that I am being too sensitive. So what if I am that rather than mechanical. Practicality comes only when you reason something well not when you judge something only by weighing the pros and cons. Life is something which I like to lead differently and enjoy it doing as well,may be it doesn't fall in the regular parameters but then is it necessary always to do what others do.

Sometimes I am chided by people who know me that I do things seriously ,I wonder then do I do that actually,as for me I do things in the best possible manner I can do ,not how others may have excelled in that. Sometimes it also comes to me what if I had been different from what I am now.How life would have been then. Does life change as you change or its changing pattern transforms you. Some answers which I am still searching for

Some thoughts again

Sometimes some people just cross their limits. They think they are indispensable and things cannot run without them. Sometimes people think too much from mind and become heartless. Maybe they are successful in whatever they do, but something remains amiss. They don't get peace , reason they never see beyond themselves. Self obsession is their hobby. They think of themselves to be the best but they fail to realize that where life changes every second , there is one gem emerging every moment. Wish people were modest along with being intelligent , we would have done away with lot of troubles all around sigh..................